Grocery Cart Gnomes

Specimen:
Scientific Name: Rectum Rodentia
Natural Habitat: Grocery Stores and Wal-Marts throughout the country.
Diet: All the best parking spaces.

The grocery cart gnome is an elusive creature, rarely seen in the wild, but their effect on the ecosystem is grossly evident. Their main behavior is to leave grocery carts rolling just far anough into a parking space to prevent anyone from parking there, or occasionally on the gutter or curb. To avoid detection, they often hide this bi-product right behind one of those big trucks, so it doesn't look like anything is there until you round the corner, pull halfway into the space and scratch your bumper on the cart. Like other rodents, they will gather their waste in collective clusters scattered throughout the habitat, sometimes leaving five or six adjacent prime parking spaces wasted, forcing the rest of us to circle the parking lot, wasting precious time and gas.

The average Mal-Mart resident might confuse the gnome with the grocery cart elf, the breed whose sole purpose is to collect and remove the debris left by the gnomes. If you see one of these creatures, do not harm it, for they are the only thing standing between us and a world that looks like this:
Why are they so horrible? Because it's not that hard to push your empty cart twenty feet into the little corral that they put on every row for that exact purpose. You pushed it all the way out to your car while it was full of Little-Debbies, Funjuns, and questionable meat products, but you just can't take that extra step, can you? Make no mistake, grocery cart gnomes are the Worst People in the World.